The Wildcraft Wonder Cabinet

Welcome to the second edition of our Camp Wildcraft blog, "The Wildcraft Wonder Cabinet." Periodically,  we'll be sharing what we're learning about art and creativity, how nature helps us thrive, and growing compassionate and resilient kids. Our second edition explores RESILIENCE-- a quality we actively nurture as part of the Wildcraft experience. ​

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GROWING RESILIENT KIDS
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By Shari Davis, Camp Wildcraft Co-Founder/Director

"Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from the bumps of everyday life. All children are born with natural resilience, but kids have different degrees of buoyancy."   Dr. Kenneth Ginsberg
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So how do we nurture greater buoyancy in our kids so they can bounce back in the face of challenges-- both large and small? I've spent much time researching, pondering, and observing the ingredients of resilience. I'd love to share some insights I've gleaned  directing a teen wellness program for a local non-profit,  training educators on this topic,  and of course observing our kids each summer at camp. 

Why do we want resilient kids? 
We all encounter challenges in our daily lives. It's part of being human. But resilient people see challenges as opportunities to learn. Resilience is a mindset that starts developing in early childhood, and fortifies children with the capacity to learn from and cope with difficulties,  At home and at summer camp, caring adults can coach our kids to think through and learn from the everyday challenges they encounter so they can move forward with optimism and confidence. 

So how do we  nurture resilience? 

• Support kids in developing competence and confidence. Competence is the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. Confidence is gained through developing competencies and seeing that they are capable!  
•  Use the Power of YET. When our children experience a setback or failure, frame it in a way that promotes perseverance and grit. Re-frame the failure by adding the powerful word YET.  For example: I’m not good at multiplication vs. I’m not good at multiplication yet. The first example uses a fixed mindset and promotes a defeatist attitude. The second illustrates that there is room for growth and improvement. 
• Small stumbles when you are young (when stakes are relatively small) show that you can learn and bounce back from challenges.  Coach kids to talk through difficulties; ask them questions which guide them to find their own solutions. 
• Build emotional resilience in kids through the simple act of active listening. Practice listening to your children without fixing.  Help kids think through problems, for example, you can say, "Hmmm, that sounds tough, how do you think you want to handle that?"
• Encourage kids to build strong social connections with good friends and supportive adults including teachers, coaches, camp counselors and others who are positive influences.
• Practice and model resilient behavior as parents. Talk to your kids about what you have learned from your own challenges.  

What gets in the way of resilience? 

• Not allowing kids to fail or take risks: When kids are not allowed to make mistakes, or take healthy risks, they don't learn the mental tools and perspectives to persevere, try again and and bounce back. 
• "Bumpers and guard rails": Parents can  serve too long as protectors, which gets in the way of kids seeing they can thrive outside their comfort zone. 
• Too quickly intervening:  If parents step in too fast when kids feel frustration and distress,  they don't develop self-efficacy and confidence to rise above the inevitable disappointments and challenges. 
• "Bubble-wrapped kids": When children always have things done for them, and have no control of the outcome, it can lead to "learned helplessness." Julie Lythcott Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult, stresses the importance of intentionally teaching life-skills to encourage confidence and autonomy. 
• Not letting kids construct their own separate identity: kids need to be encouraged to develop healthy selves, separate  from their parents, and other siblings, so they can "own" their lives and identify and value  their unique strengths and interests.

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Summer Camp is the perfect environment to nurture resilience. Each day, out in nature, kids practice independence and self-efficacy, build new friendships and a range of new skills. At Camp Wildcraft this is core to our mission and our staff is trained to actively nurture a resilience mind set  in all of our campers. 

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A few (highly) recommended  go-to resources 
BOOKS
Julie Lythcott-Haims, How to Raise an Adult
Click here for Julie's YouTube video 
Any book on brain-based parenting by the remarkable Dan Siegel, M.D. 
The Whole Brain Child
The Yes Brain
Parenting from the Inside Out 
Click here for Dan Siegel's  YouTube video
Maggie Levine, The Price of Privilege
Jessica Lahey , The Gift of Failure 
WEBSITES
https://www.heysigmund.com/building-resilience-children/
www.fosteringresilience.com/7cs_parents.php
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/
​https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/emotional-resilience/#build-emotional-resilience
Brene Brown on Empathy--a must-see 30 second animated video

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Do you have additional resources or thoughts to share? Please add them here!